Valentines Day

Valentines day always makes me feel weird, not bc of the usual thing everyone thinks of, in fact i love those parts but because of a bad experience i had one year. No not with a guy but with a friend i had at the time.

I had a friend who was a femnazi but secretly wanted to be a girly girl but had this rough exterior who didn't want anyone to know she was just as frail as the rest of us can be. When it was close to Valentines day she asked if I could help her out. You see she had just started dating a guy for a few months and she already talked about how wrong it was for men to feel obligated to do romantic things and how she was so against it but in fact she kind of wanted to go on a date and do something special but she was afraid of what he might think of her. She asked if I would ask in a group setting what everyone was doing for that special day... what happened when i did, it nearly broke my heart and was one of the many reason for that friendship ending.

So one night when we were all together hanging out i popped the question. Everyone but they answer with the normal stuff like, nothing or dinner, then it came to him... He said how fake and wrong the holiday was and how it was a shitty hallmark day and was absolutely against it. The room was quiet for a moment then my friend spoke up... "Yea Kelly, that's just a made up fake holiday to make people feel shitty, to do something on that day just means you're buying into the whole fake money making scheme. I mean come on."

I felt like shit... here i was.. asking for her and she just made me look like an asshole... I just wanted to help her out and all it did was make me feel sick. It really made me take a long look at the friendship and really wonder what kind of person she was to throw me under the bus to make herself look better... and this was only one of the many times she did something like that too...

Now on to what i REALLY feel about the holiday.

It's nice. I mean, why not? You don't NEED to do something on that day but it doesn't hurt to do something special for your loved ones. It doesn't have to be a romantic thing either, Every year my dad busy me and my sister big boxes of chocolates and cards and we usually have dinner together. Nothing fancy just being together.

Have i ever had a romantic valentines day? no, but maybe one day I will and I'm ok with waiting for it. But i wouldn't be crushed if it never happened either. I won't lie, I've always liked the idea of getting flowers and chocolates but I will be realistic about that happening too! haha I show the people i love them every chance i get, i don't need a special day to do it but i love doing something extra special. This year I'm doing some arts and crafts things with my nieces and nephews, it'll be great and i'm sending flowers to a few single friends who i know are feeling lonely this year. And that's ok. Being sad is ok, being happy is ok. Just don't be mad. It's just another day, make the best of it :)