Tomorrow is going to be a very hard day for me. I could use all the love and good vibes sent to me.
I know you all know how passionate i am about animals, and sadly i have to put my kitty down tomorrow. It's a hard decision to make but i know its wrong to make her suffer.
About a week before Valentines day i noticed she wasnt acting like herself, she wasnt playful and didnt seem to be eating. She had an awful smell and was drooling a lot. I took her to the vet to find out that she had kidney failure. They said some cats can live full lives on a special diet and have no issues but most of the time they need put down. i decided to give her the fight she deserves and i was sent home with a home iv fluid bag and special food for her to eat.
Slowly over the next month she regained her weight, the ulcers in her throat minimized, she could eat, play and have fun! A week ago she was 100% back to herself but then she stopped... i watched as she slowly stopped eating, stopped being her happy self an she slipped right back into where she was, i gave her an iv 2 days ago but she still hasnt eaten and she's so thin and frail, i can tell shes in pain. I refuse to put her though hell for my selfish needs and as much as i dont want to i decided that tomorrow i will let her go in peace, it's what she deserves. A little while ago she kept scratching at the back door. she hasnt been outside since she got sick, this struck me as odd. I decided i should let her say goodbye to the neighborhood kitty friends... She hasnt come back... I hope shes out having a good time...
I know this all might be silly for some of you but for those of you who have had a pet who was a part of your family you'd understand. To be honest i never thought i'd have a cat, im more of a dog person as you know, but when she found me it was a perfect match.
A month ago i thought i lost her, then a week ago i was over filled with joy that i saved her and now i sit her in a pain i cant even really put into words.
I'm so very lucky to have gotten to know this sweet little kitty, she can never be replaced. I hope she knows im fighting for her and that i love her enough to release her from this suffering...
I wish i could stop this hurt. But i understand its something i must go through.
Tomorrow is going to be a very hard day.
(pleas pardon all the spelling/grammer errors, im just in no mood to correct them and i needed to get all this out now before i turn into a big blubbering iddiot)
