Tomorrow is going to be a very hard day for me. I could use all the love and good vibes sent to me.
I know you all know how passionate i am about animals, and sadly i have to put my kitty down tomorrow. It's a hard decision to make but i know its wrong to make her suffer.
About a week before Valentines day i noticed she wasnt acting like herself, she wasnt playful and didnt seem to be eating. She had an awful smell and was drooling a lot. I took her to the vet to find out that she had kidney failure. They said some cats can live full lives on a special diet and have no issues but most of the time they need put down. i decided to give her the fight she deserves and i was sent home with a home iv fluid bag and special food for her to eat.
Slowly over the next month she regained her weight, the ulcers in her throat minimized, she could eat, play and have fun! A week ago she was 100% back to herself but then she stopped... i watched as she slowly stopped eating, stopped being her happy self an she slipped right back into where she was, i gave her an iv 2 days ago but she still hasnt eaten and she's so thin and frail, i can tell shes in pain. I refuse to put her though hell for my selfish needs and as much as i dont want to i decided that tomorrow i will let her go in peace, it's what she deserves. A little while ago she kept scratching at the back door. she hasnt been outside since she got sick, this struck me as odd. I decided i should let her say goodbye to the neighborhood kitty friends... She hasnt come back... I hope shes out having a good time...
I know this all might be silly for some of you but for those of you who have had a pet who was a part of your family you'd understand. To be honest i never thought i'd have a cat, im more of a dog person as you know, but when she found me it was a perfect match.
A month ago i thought i lost her, then a week ago i was over filled with joy that i saved her and now i sit her in a pain i cant even really put into words.
I'm so very lucky to have gotten to know this sweet little kitty, she can never be replaced. I hope she knows im fighting for her and that i love her enough to release her from this suffering...
I wish i could stop this hurt. But i understand its something i must go through.
Tomorrow is going to be a very hard day.
(pleas pardon all the spelling/grammer errors, im just in no mood to correct them and i needed to get all this out now before i turn into a big blubbering iddiot)
special thoughts your way, its never easy to be kitty mom.. they're always gone too soon.
ReplyDeleteI know how hard it is to lose a friend. For about two years my cat also died. He was sixteen, so we grew up together. You have to be very strong the next weeks. If you will need to talk to someone, just let me know on the facebook.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about your kitty, Kellie. I know how hard it is to lose a cat unexpectedly, especially when illness forces your hand in deciding when to put your friend to sleep. Take solace in that you're doing the right thing for her, and cherish the memories you have of time spent together.
ReplyDeleteAW, sorry to hear this, its a awful situation :( You poor thing!
ReplyDeleteHi, I am very saddened to hear about your cat Kellie. The only thing I can say Is I feel for you, and am sending good thoughts your way. Really sad to loose a pet and friend, it is something you really cannot describe. And those of us who have been through that, know how it feels.
ReplyDeleteI lost my dog which I grew up with, over a year ago to and she's still on my mind at times. It hurts real bad at first, but will only dull over time. Still it never fully goes way. Be happy that you could share your live with such a lovely. friend. Eventually sorrow will be somewhat of joy, when you remember the good times.
Take care and be strong Kellie, may all be well and may good things be your way. Take time off if you need. We are thinking about you :)
know how hard this is. I had a Keeshond that was diagnosed with kidney failure when he was 15. He was my constant companion and best friend from the time I rescued him when he was 9 months old. He was a lively dog who was always happy and full of energy. He loved children and would play for hours with my son and his friends when they were young. He was the perfect family companion and a full fledged member of our family.
ReplyDeleteWhen he reached the time of his 15th birthday I started to notice that he was developing terrible breath and soon afterward he started vomiting small amounts of what looked like yellow bile once or twice a day. I was sure what the vomiting was all about but my first reaction was to assume that the bad breath was probably bad teeth which is a common issue for many older dogs. So I took him to our family vet for a check up and a tooth cleaning. Well it turned out that it wasn't bad teeth and that it was something much more serious, It was kindey failure and the vomiting was a result of toxins building up in his system.
I was able to keep him alive for almost a year with IV fluid injections three times a day and proper diet, this was almost unheard of for a dog of his age but he was a fighter. During that time when I had to give him injections he never complained or gave me a hard time, it was almost like he knew what I was trying to do for him. At times it seemed that the treatments were harder on me than they were on him. He just sucked it up like the unflappable solider that he was. Like your cat he responded well for a time and I actually was able to decrease the frequency of his IV treaments. But after a while I could see a slow decline in his physical condition. The once lively and almost physically unstoppable dog began to tire at the slightest bit of exertion. The daily act of going for his morning and evening walk was becoming physically exhausting for him and he lost most of his appetite. Ultimately it reached a point were I had no choice but to have him put down. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do emotionally and it still haunts me every time I look at the picture of him that I keep in my den.
There are no words that can make the pain of something like this go away but just remember that what you are doing is right thing. In this situation animals are actually luckier than we are. They don't have to suffer unnecessarily the way we do with a terminal illness. What you are doing for that cat is an act of mercy and you are a better person for it.
Good Luck
I'm so sorry! I know they can't say it, but cats can tell how much you care about them. She'd understand. There's a special spot in kitty heaven just for her. :)
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry.Wish I could do something for you.I know its hard.Remember we love you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your kitty. We have our pets for so long, they become family. I lost my Mignight to renal lymphoma this past February. He was 13. I miss him dearly; full of spunk and attitude. :) Wishing you the best. -Jeannie
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