Feed Me!

Saturday, March 31, 2012


Thank you all for you kind and caring words, they helped more than you'll ever know! I was a hard week but I know this week will be better and so on a so forth. I miss my little kitty all the time but I'm glad she's not in pain. Time to get back to work on my new site. Also a friend and fellow ssbbw model is about to come stay at my house for a few months, I can't tell you how excited I am. I feel so lucky to have a home big enough to share with friends, I can't believe I've been here for 2 years! To be honest these last 2 years have been the best of my life. I'm happy, really happy. I think you have to go through tough times to get to the great ones. It sure does make me appreciate it all.

Here's to a great spring and a wonderful summer to come! I love you guys!

I leave you with a photo of Herman, bc its all I can find on my phone Hahaha love this little guy!

Friday, March 23, 2012


Tomorrow is going to be a very hard day for me. I could use all the love and good vibes sent to me.

I know you all know how passionate i am about animals, and sadly i have to put my kitty down tomorrow. It's a hard decision to make but i know its wrong to make her suffer.

About a week before Valentines day i noticed she wasnt acting like herself, she wasnt playful and didnt seem to be eating. She had an awful smell and was drooling a lot. I took her to the vet to find out that she had kidney failure. They said some cats can live full lives on a special diet and have no issues but most of the time they need put down. i decided to give her the fight she deserves and i was sent home with a home iv fluid bag and special food for her to eat.

Slowly over the next month she regained her weight, the ulcers in her throat minimized, she could eat, play and have fun! A week ago she was 100% back to herself but then she stopped... i watched as she slowly stopped eating, stopped being her happy self an she slipped right back into where she was, i gave her an iv 2 days ago but she still hasnt eaten and she's so thin and frail, i can tell shes in pain. I refuse to put her though hell for my selfish needs and as much as i dont want to i decided that tomorrow i will let her go in peace, it's what she deserves. A little while ago she kept scratching at the back door. she hasnt been outside since she got sick, this struck me as odd. I decided i should let her say goodbye to the neighborhood kitty friends... She hasnt come back... I hope shes out having a good time...

I know this all might be silly for some of you but for those of you who have had a pet who was a part of your family you'd understand. To be honest i never thought i'd have a cat, im more of a dog person as you know, but when she found me it was a perfect match.

A month ago i thought i lost her, then a week ago i was over filled with joy that i saved her and now i sit her in a pain i cant even really put into words.

I'm so very lucky to have gotten to know this sweet little kitty, she can never be replaced. I hope she knows im fighting for her and that i love her enough to release her from this suffering...

I wish i could stop this hurt. But i understand its something i must go through.

Tomorrow is going to be a very hard day.

(pleas pardon all the spelling/grammer errors, im just in no mood to correct them and i needed to get all this out now before i turn into a big blubbering iddiot)

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Why hello there!

Hi, I think it's probably a good idea to post and let you all know that i have a tracker on this blog and i can see who does what. It gives not only an IP address but other information too.

I know you want me to respond with something equally as nasty as the things you write but I wont. I'm sorry you feel the need to be this way and i hope you can find happiness in your life so that you can move forward and live your life for you. I know you're only doing it to upset me so would it help if i said it does?

I wish everyone only the best, even those who dont care for me. It's ok, I forgive you. You need to forgive yourself.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Thursday, March 15, 2012


Thank goodness there are so many of you who are computer savvy, thanks for all the help.

So much work to do in the next month, I'm pretty excited! This summer is going to be as great if not better than last summer, I can see it already!

How is everyone doing here?