So after one of the longest weeks of my life, i got the sad news that the other people going on the road trip were not able to go, only a day before we left and at no fault of there own, which meant I couldn't go. I just can't drive all that way alone ya know? Not all is lost, I'm waiting to see if i got my "name your price" tickets for next weekend. Either way, it'll be ok, I already have plans to go in February so no matter what I'm there, just under different circumstances.
Back to the point of this blog.
After this wild and winding week I realized I needed to stop living for everyone, and live for myself. So what do you think I did?
I went out dancing. Yea, went to a club/rave/lounge. No, not my normal thing. haha I met up with my Cleveland friends and we danced. We danced all night. How might you ask? I have no idea haha I was a sweaty mess, as everyone was but I was happy and free! I did dabble in drinks, which isn't something I normally do but when people offer them, you take them. lol And well, they kept ordering me the shots that taste like dessert! So good.
This morning I got home around 4am. Completely exhausted i fell into bed, with my clothes on, haha, and slept. I slept like a ROCK and it was wonderful. I needed this, I needed to see that it's ok to take time out for myself. I don't always have to do what someone else wants me to do.
One of my biggest habits is letting people live my life for me, every time I think I get away from the problem it comes back again, but that's b/c I'm the one choosing that path. My family and friends expect nothing from me except to be me. That's all they want. They have no idea how much they helped me realize I need to change. But now that I'm on that path again, it will change everything.
Nothing is ever lost. Everything simply changes form. Remember this in the face of Life’s ever-changing circumstances.
Things do happen for a reason. I'm in a better place and I'm thankful for that. I will not forget what I went through to get here but I will forgive.
I will do better and be better, not just for myself but for the ones I love, and yes for you.